Traitorous Blood

It would be impossible for me to explain, in a short post, the experiences I had in homelessness and personal betrayal I experienced for loving Eliza Dushku. I have an entire blog which shares those experiences and the reasons why, which largely involve the people I once thought of as family. Now, I see them only as monsters, and I think it is safe to say, they always knew what they were, and must have hated me for not being one of them.

Sonja Simonsen promised to help me marry Eliza Dushku. Instead, she and Stein Simonsen tried to sidetrack me in a mental health facility in Minnesota until I escaped into homelessness. I spent months in homelessness and even ended up filing a lawsuit to protect my right to express my love for Eliza Dushku. Eventually, I ended up with Jennifer Simonsen in Nevada. I spent a long time trying to recover from a very bad situation. I even made a video game about my experiences. Time passed. I played Magic and my mother eventually retired. Going into her retirement, she wanted to move, so I decided I would do the right thing and help her move. The move did not go well as deals fell apart. I continued to try and help her until she decided to involve my sister.

Jennifer’s decision to involve Sonja recently had consequences. I withdrew support for Jennifer by refusing to assist in driving to Florida and denying her access to the use of my netbook. Jennifer’s decision to involve Sonja was as inexplicable as it was unforgivable.

After Jennifer’s mild suicidal ideation and attempt at taking my netbook, the relationship continued to deteriorate until I had to call the police on her to prevent her from engaging in dangerous driving.

After speaking with the police, separating at Independence, Missouri, was the sensible thing to do. Given no real options, I walked away. My mother simply drove away. The consequences of this separation ultimately resulted for me in a fairly avoidable stay on the beach- had anyone wanted to simply come up with the $15 for a change of ticket or had a hotel room waiting for me in Orlando. Neither of these items was a priority. I slept on Daytona beach.

Finally, after an extremely tense week, my mother’s involvement with my sister made it necessary for me to separate from her again. Jennifer continued to express anger at the fact that I had called the police on her. At the same time, her own ability to deal with the move was becoming increasingly suspect. Content to simply give me $20 and then head to the Hotel and Spa, Jennifer continued to demonstrate that she is not a parent and is, in fact, abusive. Jennifer apparently believes it is appropriate to fundamentally change our relationship, by involving Sonja, and then if she does not like the predictably shitty results- to try to force capitulation by withholding basic necessities- such as food and shelter. The relationship is a total failure at this point and the smartest thing to do would be to minimize all contact.

I ended up in this situation because I was trying to help her retire in Florida. Now, however, she has chosen her own path. It’s total bullshit, however, if she thinks it is okay to simply fuck me out of a place to stay or food to eat- nor will I stay at a place which is tainted by my sister’s fucking filth. Had she been in anyway honest, I would have been willing to part company with my things much earlier- even back in Elko.

I grew up gaming and some of those games prepared me for the dark future. The dark future is always the future you want to avoid, but sometimes can’t. So what are the rules for the dark future? Those rules were laid out in Cyberpunk 2020:

“Cyberpunk characters are survivors in a tough, grim world, faced with life and death choices. How they make these choices will have a lot to do with whether they end up as vicious animals roaming a ruined world, or retain something of their basic humanity. Cyberpunk characters are the heroes of a bad situation working to make it better (or at least survivable) whenever they can.”

I no longer know whether the family I grew up with were once human, I only know they know longer are. I also know that after months in Minnesota’s homeless shelters, the situation, however bad in Florida, is viable.

But for all my skills and all my training, there is still one thing I’m not prepared for. I think about Eliza all the time. It’s been years, and still, it seems I’ve made no progress. So, I prepare myself for what I can, which is a dark future- the easy part. The hard part is being without Eliza.

Cheers!

So after finishing things up at FNM, I headed down the street to a 7-11. There I ordered a bean and cheese burrito. I had not eaten since breakfast. My plan was to go to the next 7-11, but I saw a bar was open called Cheers. The bar is open until 2 a.m. and the taps are $1 draft for Budweiser. Looks like an 8 oz cup, but I don’t need to be drinking much right now as I’ll probably need to stay alert throughout the long night. Still, might not be a bad idea to take the edge off of a pretty fucked up night/situation.

A patron saw me typing on my netbook with my desktop of Eliza Dushku. He asked me where she was and I said I don’t know.

Chemical Brothers is playing on the jukebox right now. So at least, I’ll relax until closing time. I’ll probably try to find another 7-11 after that.

I’m down to $5.

Update: I found a 7-11 and they pointed me in the direction of a McDonald’s. The McDonald’s lobby is open 24/7, so I ordered a small soda. That will get me through the night. Tomorrow, I’ll find a place to sleep.

While I contemplate sleeping in the park, the mods at /r/politics ban…

So, while I’ll be sleeping the mods at r/politics on reddit have decided my post on library censorship is too self-promotional.  Only thing I can say at this point is fuck them. BTW, my blogs are not monetized. There is no reason I cannot post a link to my own blog rather than their shady ass suggestion to post this as a personal story. The original story contains embedded video and pictures. So the mods at r/politics can FUCK THEMSELVES on this. I might put it more diplomatically if I were not about to sleep in a park.

Update: Rather than sleep in the park, I’m staying up all night. It’s better than the park, but I’m definitely very tired.

Update 2: So on June 30, I finally ended up sleeping in the park. As parks go, it was pretty nice once the music stopped blaring. I probably got 4-5 hours of sleep. Here’s a pic of me at about 5:30 a.m.

Update 3: While reading Anthony Lewis’ book, Freedom for the Thought We Hate, at the Barnes and Noble, I found his recounting of pre-colonial restraints on the freedom of speech fairly relevant to the actions of the Reddit moderators. Lewis wrote, “Repression was accomplished by two different devices. The first was preventive: a licensing system for all publications.” Lewis continues, “The licensors were bureaucrats who operated with utter arbitrariness. They took as long as they wished to decide whether something could be printed, and they gave no reasons for their decisions. When they said no, their was no appeal.”

Update 4: I was kicked out of Crane’s Roost twice. I decided to try to post the second incident to r/politics and it too is banned.

Evil Family is Evil

I’m playing in an MTG FNM tonight at Magic Inferno. This is my first FNM in Florida. I’ve got $8 left after registering for the FNM and am not sure where I will stay tonight- probably a park.

My deck is showing signs of progress, but so far, I am 1-9. I’m running a budget Magic deck, so I’m not totally disappointed with the performance or even surprised.

I also made a trade. I traded a Vexing Devil for 2 Conjurer’s Closet and 4 Invisible Stalkers.

Still, an FNM tournament is a nice break from dealing with evil.

The War on Gaming: Library Censorship

As I am travelling across the country, I am interacting more and more with libraries. In the past I had to rely on libraries for gaming opportunities. I have gone so far as to have a video game I made added to a library collection.

The US Supreme Court recently issued a decision which gives games first amendment protection. Although I was glad to see video games receive the protection they deserve, I was also critical of the decision and the gaming community for fostering a culture of censorship.

As I am now in Florida, the library situation is becoming increasingly dire. The Orange County library system is charging a $10 fee for limited access to tourists/non-residents. This is in direct contravention of Article 19 which protects internet access as a human right. This is even more shocking when the conduct is being promoted by a library. The librarian told me to go down to McDonalds to enjoy their free wifi. This unnecessarily shifts the costs from the public to the private sector. In a civil rights regime, like the United State, it can also result in a subsequent loss of rights. After going to McDonalds, I returned to the Orange County Library on Edgewater to file a written complaint about their internet policies which clearly impact the non-resident poor and tourists and are a clear denial of human rights.

In St. George, Utah, the filtering software put an automatic block on my ability to access Elements the Game.

Although the block was removed upon request, it requires a removal each time and obviously chills expression.

As I am heading into Seminole County, I looked at the computer use polices of the Altamonte Spring’s library. The computer use policies specifically prohibit playing games saying:

“Games and online gambling are not permitted on the computers.”

It is the library itself which is acting as a center of censorship in direct contradiction of the holdings of the Supreme Court of the United States and paper rights without enforcement are meaningless. It is my suspicion that a library that is willing to openly engage in an act of censorship, is probably willing to exercise its ability to censor in more subtle ways as well.

The libraries decisions will effect people everywhere.

The Central library at Casselberry (Seminole County) charges $1 for a 45 minute visitor pass and has a websense blocker in place. It does have a free wifi connection for people like me, on one side of the digital divide, who have a netbook. People without the technology will be left behind. At the Casselberry library, I visited Kongregate without problems. The Casselberry library also had an infographic which showed that at least 12% of its library visitors came to use the computers or wifi.

Library Use Stats at Casselberry

Many people rely on libraries for a myriad of services including gaming.

Interestingly enough, the library at Casselberry also blocks youtube and this story (the one you are reading) does not have the embedded youtube video in this story viewable at the Casselberry library. Tumblr is also site-blocked.

In summary, libraries that deny access to games fundamentally impair my ability to communicate serious social and political messages and more significantly it also restricts my ability to express my love.

Collection Intact

In the last few days, there were several times in which I thought I might be forced to sell some of my cards. I am glad to say that as of now, my collection is still intact and I have not sold a single card. If you want more information, you can read the backstory here.

Hate to let this shit go, but I’m stuck in Kansas City.

I am stuck in Indepencence, Missouri- which is near Kansas City. Shit happens- and that shit is usually the result of the actions of my immediate family.

In order to get out of Kansas City, it really might be necessary to sell some cards. I really DO NOT want to sell any cards, but life is full of seemingly ugly choices and I do have things I need to try to secure in Florida. Anyway, here are all the cards in my MODERN collection. I have roughly 4850 cards in total but am only posting my modern card list. A few notable legacy cards I own are Natural Order (Visions) and Lord of Atlantis.

[REDACTED MY COLLECTION LIST TO MAKE THE BLOG READABLE]

Update: I was able to leave Kansas City without selling my collection.

Reprint

With the anticipated release of M13, there is a lot of focus on reprints. I’ve decided to write a bit of a reprint myself.

Pay to win will kill Magic.

If players need to pay a premium to build a competitive deck, players will choose to play something else. New players will find it impossible to compete with established expensive decks and will turn to something else quickly. Existing players will limit themselves to building one good deck and this will reduce the competitive landscape and quality of gameplay. Part of the magic of Magic was brewing-and few players can afford the luxury of brewing.

As a player, I like level playing fields. I do not want to “buy” the win and I think most gamers agree. Gaming has not historically been about paying to win. Unfortunately, many companies are now taking advantage of player weakness when they try to sell premium game winning advantages. If the only way to win a game is to buy the win, the game is no longer worth playing.

Likewise, the tournament structure encourages players to only build and invest in one deck. Tournaments force players to use the same deck round after round, while most casual players like to build and have multiple decks.

Hasbro/WOTC need to end the cycle of expensive cards by making cards affordable and commonly available and ensuring that common cards are effective alternatives to Rare and Mythic Rare cards. Players need to stop buying into the expensive cards.

Paper versus Digital: why not both?

Paper Magic is much more social than MTGO, but is has two major drawbacks. MTGO provides a rigid structure for playing Magic. New players will quickly learn what is legal and what is not. Existing players won’t be forced to try to understand how new cards will work. Many mistakes won’t be made in that environment. MTGO is cheaper than paper magic. Although some cards may be more expensive in MTGO than in paper Magic, overall the need to never own more than 4 cards means that MTGO has a cost advantage. In paper, I own 30 copies of Elixir of Immortality because I do not want to swap out cards for every deck I build. (I usually limit my purchases to 8 of any given card). In any event, MTGO players can build as many active decks as they want.

While many companies now sell multi-use products, Hasbro/WOTC has opted not to sell unlock codes with booster packs meaning players are forced to choose between MTGO and paper. This is unfortunate as it will probably reduce the number of paper players. It takes more time, energy, and money to organize and play paper Magic. It requires people take time out of their schedules and get together, while playing MTGO is much more available. I personally feel that it is worth taking the time out to play Magic the Gathering and finding live events. Nevertheless, many people are extremely busy in their lives and have to settle for MTGO.

The failure of Hasbro/WOTC to take the simple step of bundling the two products forces people to choose between the two and unnecessarily fragments the player base. Busy players might be able to take the time out to play in real space now and again and paper players could play more often if the two products were sold together. As a player, I have no reason to unnecessarily increase my expenses by buying the same product for each medium. For social reasons, I am going with paper, but others will undoubtedly choose digital.

There are alternatives to both MTG and MTGO. There are a wide variety of gaming options available at low and sometimes even no cost. In the digital format, Elements the Game is free to play. Although Elements has its own issues, like endless grinding, it is free to play.

FNM

Is this really the best way to promote Magic?

Many players do not want to or cannot afford to pay the entry fees to play Magic once a week.

My experiences at FNM have been fairly mixed. The players are usually pretty decent, but the win or go-home experience is not friendly for new players or budget players. There is certainly no reason to pay a cover to lose. FNM almost requires players pay to win. Losing is not a fun experience, and when winning leads to prizes, fun can take a back seat to winning.

Mistakes are often made in Magic. As Magic is one of the more complicated games to play, I often expect some mistakes will be made by myself and others. Players make mistakes when they try to use new cards- as can often happen in draft events or when they are simply new to the game. FNM is not a place for mistakes. With prizes on the line, players can view the most innocent mistakes suspiciously and with resentment.

FNM may not be a viable option for people who work during those times. In my own experience, it is critical to try to find out when players have the time to play. In an era of 24/7 work schedules, Friday night does not work for a lot of people.

Alternatives to FNM tournaments exist. New players and established players can take advantage of Captain’s matches to help players learn and improve at the game.

At the store level, a participatory system would reward participation rather than simply winning. Players could pay a simple cover charge- $1.25 and earned a punch on a customer card for each time they played this way. If players play four times a month, they can get a booster pack. Booster packs currenty sell for $4.00, which means the store would still get $1. More importantly, stores would make the game more affordable and accessible and allow players to build collections while they played.

If the stores are not willing to create participatory systems, the players can simply host their own events and go back to the kitchen table gaming that made Magic fun and popular to begin with.

Players can create their own budget leagues in which per month spending is capped and the players accumulate cards at the same rate throughout the block cycle.

I spent a lot of time this last year playing in a casual anything goes format and it created a lot of fun for myself and the other players.

COLLECTING

There is an obvious tension between the speculating collectors and the players. In my opinion, the price cannot be explained by collector speculation alone, but the effectiveness of the card makes a large part of its value. This erodes the game play experience for players on a budget and further reduces the likelihood new players will take up the game.

A card like Tamiyo sells for nearly $30. There are entire games that sell for $30. It is not clear why a single card should cost more than an entire game. As I said before, people can print their own cards for about 8 cents and make their own games now.

I also find it strange that I can never get $30 for a card like Tamiyo as a dealer will usually only offer me 50% of the value of a card. A player seems to have only one option- pay full price and sell for half price. It is for this reason that I have very little incentive to sell my cards to dealers. As I am currently in the process of moving, I have not fully explored my player to player trading opportunities- but I feel much more confident that player to player trading will provide me with better value than most player to dealer trades.

There seem to be plenty of opportunities to collect the art in many formats- like prints, life counters, playmats, sleeves, wallpaper, deck boxes, digital copies, and more. Unfortunately, when singles are priced at $30, it means players cannot afford to buy the gaming supply items or art in other formats. Most people have budgetary restrictions which means money they spend for one thing is money they do not spend on other things.

I have capped my spending on Magic/Gaming. I do not spend more than $1.00 for any card and try to spend no more than 25 cents on average. This allows me to build a more diverse collection of cards and reduces my downside risks. By not “buying in” to the pay to win mentality, the players themselves could reduce the price of cards by simply not buying expensive cards.

FORMATS

Formats were supposed to make playing Magic accessible to new players while providing outlets for experienced players to utilize their cards in building deeper collections.

With the cycling of formats, players are required to update their collections because their cards become obsolete regularly. Some of the most cynical examples of this are simply changing the name and artwork of a card as a functional reprint such as Terramorphic Expanse and Evolving Wilds. Players get no value out of this kind of card cycling.

In other cases, cards stand to lose their value once they cycle out of a format. Ponder will be banned in the Modern format and stands to lose a lot of its value. If I am forced to upgrade some cards each time, I am also reducing my spending to avoid overspending on cards which are not going to be worth much once they cycle out of standard.

When I play in casual anything goes formats, I can get a lot of good cards for much less money than the inflated standard prices. Standard prices tend to be the highest prices because the “legality” of the card is priced in. Unproven new cards are often the subject of wild price inflation. Outside of Standard, I have a lot of brewing flexibility- including the use of cheap and affordable dual lands.

In any event, despite all of the formats that are available, the format I really want- one which provides spending limits and therefore greater play parity, is absent.

 

SUMMARY

The current conditions in Magic the Gathering are not conducive to the well-being of the MTG community.  Business as usual approaches will not ensure the future success of Magic.

New players do not have much incentive to pick up a game in which both the learning curve and investment curve are fairly steep. Existing players do not have much incentive to continue to play a game in which cynical market forces squeeze money from them, without maximizing value- especially in a time of unprecedented gaming opportunities. 

Players have a lot of alternatives to improve their gaming experiences.  Technological change means that people can make and print their own cards for about 8 cents a card.  Players themselves can opt out of tournament systems which are often expensive and do not necessarily reward brewing creativity. Players can avoid many of the financial downsides to playing Magic by setting spending limits which will eventually force Magic to change its pricing models to meet their needs. Finally, players can always seek out or create alternatives to Magic which provide more value to them as gamers.

Autopsy Report

I managed to attend another FNM at Comic’s Plus in St. George, Utah. Thanks to the magic of the gpt internet and some streeting, the owner, David, allowed me to pay the entry with an e-gift card rather than cash as I am presently traveling and find myself with cash flow issues. This is not the first time I’ve tapped into the shadow economy to support my Magic playing. In any case, I certainly needed a diversion from a stressful week, so I was very grateful for the opportunity to play.

Initially, the FNM was scheduled to be a constructed block event, but not enough players were prepared for a constructed block event and it was redesigned as a Standard tournament. I certainly understand that many players do not want to see the decks they have heavily invested in and designed become obsolete as the Standard Format changes. Nevertheless, I had plenty of free time this last week and put together two constructed decks. Brewing is fun and I like to think of brewing as part of playing Magic. Despite the last minute format change, I decided to try out my new constructed block decks anyway.

Here is the blue deck:

Kind of Blue (Innistrad Block Constructed)

Main deck

Islands x24

Curiosity x1

Trepanation Blade x4

Mist Raven x4

Nephalia Smuggler x2

Dissipate x2

Elgaud Shieldmate x3

Spectral Flight x2

Thought Scour x4

Beguiller of Wills x3

Mindshrieker x4

Undead Alchemist x4

Latchseeker x3

Side deck

Dreadwaters x1

Rootcrown Ghoul x4

Geralf’s Mindcrusher x4

Memory’s Journey x2

Rooftop Storm x2

Beguiller of Wills x1

Vanishment x1

Unfortunately, the deck I chose to use faired very poorly at the event and here is the big lesson I am taking away from this: Beguiler of Wills is just not worth the casting cost. I really had high hopes for this card and it was one of the more expensive singles cards I ever purchased running about $1. I have tried several times to work with this card in several decks, but Beguiler not only has a high casting cost- it requires immediate protection. Most recently, I tried to provide that protection with Elguad Shieldmate. Normally, I used something like Mask of Avacyn, but I wanted to try one of the soulbonding creatures and Elgaud Shieldmate is an alright card which provides a chump blocker and hexproof to another creature. Unfortunately, the opportunities to get Beguiler and Elgaud Shieldmate to work together were few and far between.

Having made several Beguiler decks so far, it just seems like it will take an awful lot in terms of both mana and protection to get a decent Beguiler deck going and I’m not sure if the card is really worth the effort at this point. I will probably just stick with cards like Mind Control or Corrupted Conscience instead.

In addition to that, I feel that Dissipate was not the right card in this deck. I think having another Island would have been better than Dissipate. Finally, my hoped for interactions between Mist Raven and the Nephalia Smuggler never seemed to materialize.

The bright spots were obviously Mindshrieker and Undead Alchemist.

I did have a side deck for this deck made, but I rarely use the cards in a side deck.

Losing most of my rounds quickly, I played my back up constructed block deck in casual side matches.

Overdue(Innistrad block Contructed)

 

Main Deck

Evolving Wild x2

Mountains x12

Plains x12

Angelic Wall x4

Fiendhunter x4

Moonlight Geist x4

Conjurer’s Closet x1

Vessel of Endless Rest x1

Demonmail Haurberk x3

Devil’s Play x1

Falkenrath Exterminator x1

Heirs of Stromkirk x4

Charmbreaker Devils x3

Pyreheart Wolf x4

Traitorous Blood x4

Cloudshift x3

Lightening Prowess x1

 

Side deck

 

Archangel x1

Creepy Doll x4

Cloudshift x1

Pillar of Flame x3

Blasphemous Act x4

Charmbreaker Devil x1

Demonmail Hauerberk x1

This deck went 1-4 but showed more promise. If I remade the deck as a standard deck and was able to utilize cards like Act of Treason or Act of Aggression, the deck would undoubtedly perform better.

 Also, I would probably remove the Devil’s Play and the Lightening Prowess altogether. I opted not to use the deck principally because of my lack of red-white dual lands. With cards that routinely required two mountain or two plains mana in the deck build, not having access to an affordable red-white format legal dual land convinced me to stick with the mono-blue deck.

 With some more work, I feel that the interactions between Traitorous Blood/Cloudshift/Demonmail Hauerberk/Conjurer’s closet worked well enough. It would be much easier to refine this deck for use in Standard play by including non-block cards like Act of Treason. I also think the Heirs of Stromkirk will be a nice addition to many red decks.

 Despite my poor showing, I certainly enjoyed my time playing with players from the St. George area at Comic’s Plus.

Is it Friday Yet?

It looks like my travel plans will be altered. I may have the opportunity to play in another FNM at Comics Plus in St. George. The next FNM will be a constructed block event. Comics Plus sells common singles for a nickel, so I’ve made some necessary common purchases to improve my collection. I always appreciate being able to add solid common cards at low cost to my inventory.

My last FNM performance was terrible. Still it was nice to meet the local players and see what they are brewing.

If I manage to make it to the next FNM, I’m hoping that I’ll be able to do a little better this time. Win or lose, I always learn something and this is never more true than when a new set is released and when I have the opportunity to play against a new group of players.